Common Challenges of Parenting Teens

Parenting teenagers is so difficult, in part, because teens often want to be treated like adults, but don’t yet act like them. Not only are adolescent years a big change for the teen, they’re a big change for the rest of the family too. While no two teens develop identically, and a teenager’s development influences every family differently, there are some themes that many parents/families of teenagers struggle with. If this sounds familiar, perhaps you can find solace in the fact that many parents/families struggle with adapting to these changes.

You may no longer be your teen’s “go to” person for counsel
It is common for teens to be more comfortable confiding in/seeking advice from a friend than a parent. Understandably, it can be difficult for parents to see their child seeking advice elsewhere. However, this isn’t a sign that you are failing in your role as parent, or that you have done something wrong. Rather, the teenage years are a time of heavy peer influence, and it is common for teens to seek out their peers rather than their parents in times of need. If your teen expresses a desire to talk to someone outside of the family, be supportive of this and help them in their pursuit of counsel outside of the family. This is a scenario in which individual or family counseling can prove beneficial.

Your teen may be less eager to spend time with you
Your teen is embarking on his/her path to independence. It is typical for teens to want to spend less time at home, and more time with peers. In many ways, the teenage years mark the beginning of an individual’s path to independence. This process can be very difficult for parents, who may be wondering why their child wants increased separation. Again, this is a normal stage of an individual’s development from child to adult. Approaching these years with compassionate understanding of your teen’s development can help ease the struggles that are bound to occur.

Your teen may challenge you more often
Developing opinion, values, and beliefs is a key characteristic of a teen’s cognitive development. This may result in your teen challenging your own logic or beliefs, and being more generally argumentative. Once more, developing self-identity is a crucial aspect of the “separating” process. It is important for a teenager to begin to form his/her own beliefs about the world.

Maintaining awareness around the normality of these behaviors can help ease difficulties of this time period. Remember that your teen is growing into a vibrant, independent, and self-assured adult, and that it’s common to have difficulties along the way! Placing these challenging changes within the context of human development can help ease the stress of such a major transition.