Strategies For Managing Your Child’s Screen Time

Phones and the Family

As a parent, there are many advantages to giving your child a cell phone. Namely, it’s easy to track their whereabouts, and you can rest easy knowing they can contact you in case of emergency. There’s also a convenience in being able to contact your child in the middle of the day to alert them to potential daily changes. It’s not hard to see the rationale for giving your child a phone. Still, parents are often ill-equipped to deal with the challenges that stem from their child having access to a phone and other electronics. For some families, the addition of a phone means less family connection and more screen time. I hear from parents all the time, who say, “we never see him anymore, he’s always on his phone.” Or, “she doesn’t respect when we ask her to put her phone away, and it’s not worth taking it away because then it becomes a huge fight.”

Moreover, parents who want to wait until their kids are older before buying them phones have to swim upstream against the powerful current of their child’s peer group, most of whom likely have their own phones. From these parents, I often hear, “We don’t want him to miss out on social opportunities, but we’re scared that if we buy him a phone, we’ll lose him to it.”

These are valid, rationale concerns for parents to have. The era of children having phones is relatively new, and there’s no agreed “right time” for buying your kid a phone, nor is there an agreed upon playbook for how to manage their phone use. Thankfully, with a little planning and collaboration, your child’s phone use doesn’t have to spell family disaster. Remember parents, even if it doesn’t feel like it, you have the control! Here are some tips for effectively managing the addition of a new phone in the family. These strategies also pertain to use of other electronics, such as computers or TVs.

Screen Time Strategies

1) Create a Screen Time Contract with Your Child

Research shows that while most parents have rules around the content their children can access, they don’t have rules around how much time can be spent in front of screens. Establishing a screen-time contract with your child can remedy this. Discussing screen-time in a calm, stress-free environment can help you and your child define values, intentions, and goals that surround electronics usage. It’s likely your child will be more respectful and responsive to rules they had some part in creating, as opposed to rules imposed entirely by parents. Be receptive to your child’s ideas around how much is too much. Parents: consider implementing rules about your own phone use so that the contract can be family-focused, versus being focused exclusively on your child. The award winning movie “Screenagers” (which is also a great resource for you and your child!) offers a very helpful template for screen-time contracts.

2) Model Healthy Screen Time Use

What are you choosing to do with your own free time? Are you modeling healthy behaviors for your own children around screen time use? Children are inclined to replicate the behavior of their parents. If you’re choosing to use your free time for non-screen related activities, your children are more likely to follow suit.

3) Create Opportunities for Family Engagement

Create alternatives to screen use by planning activities that don’t involve screens. For instance, you might consider a weekly family game night, reading together as a family, or the myriad other possibilities for spending time together that don’t rely on screens. If your family spends dinners in front of the TV, consider establishing a screen-free dinner routine.

4) Encourage/Support Other Activities

Is your child a bookworm? Be sure you’re providing them reading material, and encouraging them to read. Does your child love sports? Do what you can to support them in playing that sport, and support them practicing at home. Does your child enjoy playing music? Provide them the necessary resources to engage with their passions, and do what you can to encourage creative play. It’s not feasible to rid your child’s world of electronics, but you can create a world with healthy, alternative activities to electronics.

6) Educate, Educate, Educate

There is plenty of research on the behavioral changes of children who have high exposure to screen time. High exposure has been linked to decreased academic performance, irregular sleep habits, and greater susceptibility to advertisements, just to name a few of the potential detriments. Don’t demonize the use of electronics—rather, offer your children fact-based information about why you’re choosing to set limits around their screen time use.

This article published by the American Psychological Association offers some useful data.

In conclusion, having clear-cut rules/boundaries around frequency of screen time use (not just content) can help instill feelings of control over your child’s screen use. Do what you can to involve your child in the process of establishing those ground rules. As electronics become more prevalent in our society, it’s easy for parents to throw up their hands in defeat. However, it’s important to remember that a few small steps can help you and your family feel in control over the use of electronics in your household.